Month 4, Approaching 5

It’s been hectic.  As I’m sure those of you with kids or who take care of kids know.  And for that I apologize to some extent because it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything.

I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I can’t stop singing praises to the fact that feedings take a mere fraction of the time they used to.  It’s made things so much easier, so much better, and a heck of a lot less stressed.  Though, there are times when she is still cluster-feeding a lot, or feeding every two hours still.  From what I’ve read, it’s not too out of the norm for a breastfeeding baby, so that makes me feel a bit better about it.

It still gets pretty stressful on those days when those hours go quickly and it can feel as if I’m constantly feeding her.  I know it’s largely just a skewed perspective depending on how I feel that day, but I can’t really help how it feels.  Looking back on those days, I feel a little foolish, but at the same time, I have been trying to not come down too hard on myself for how I feel.  Stress builds and blows, then builds up again.  That much I know, but I’m getting to know it very well, very often.

I’m still adjusting to the build up of stress being so much more…common and frequent.  Breaking out of the old familiar mindset is it can be overly frustrating for me when the stress does build up and blow more often.  It compounds because of the frustration I feel when it happens.  The frustration I feel because it happened, and I couldn’t seem to do anything to ward it off.  It bugs me that I can’t seem to avoid it a lot of the time.  It makes me feel like a completely different person and that all the work I did for years was for nothing.  Though…intellectually I know it wasn’t for naught.

(Shush, I like my words and I don’t get to use the fun ones so much anymore!  So when I think of it, I’m gonna do it!  :P)
We had a few blow ups lately…but nothing severe or really that bad.  It was mostly just a release of pressure that needed to happen.  And yet another reminder that we need to communicate better and more often.  It was a kick in the arse as well to keep on some of the things we need to do for ourselves and each other.  It’s just not fun when some of those things mean spending money…and a lot of it gets spent all at one time.

The blow-out of the power steering in the Honda broke the camel’s back and we got it fixed and then traded it in.  We now have a brand new, 2012 Jetta Sportwagon TDI.  I adore it.  He likes it too, he loves all the gadgets and technology in it.  The Bluetooth is awesome.  We don’t even have to program in voice commands.  It does voice recognition to the contact list in the phone.  The navigation package is pretty awesome too.  We can put the Garmin in the truck permanently now, instead of forgetting it one or the other vehicle.

We got a book shelf for the living room, but already need another one.  The one we have up basically is just holding all of our DVDs.  I was pretty sure that that was going to happen.  I know people that have more than us, but dang.  The boxed sets and the tv shows probably take up a good portion of what we have.  And we’ve even been trying to weed through and slim it down some.  Though…once we get a new TV stand…hopefully we can move some of the movies to that and we can use part of the bookshelf for other things.

It’s especially needed to get all the small things up and out of the way now that the bebe is getting slightly more mobile.  She is still only rolling back and forth…but she is definitely determined as all get out to get herself mobile as soon as possible.  We can see how frustrated she gets when she can’t move herself where she wants to go.  It’s incredible to see what she does figure out though.  She’s turning herself around while on her tummy, and playing with things while on her tummy.  Her pushing up on her hands is getting really good.  Though…she does faceplant when she tries to get her butt up and her knees under her.  She just needs to put it all together and soon she will probably be crawling.

She’s enjoying sitting up a lot more now, and is tolerating her bumbo seat for longer periods.  She’s also been pulling on the toys on the Kick & Play mat’s arch, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she starts pulling herself up to a sitting position at some point in the next month.  Her legs are gaining more strength and she’s keeping them under her a bit more when we hold her up to “stand”, but she doesn’t do it for long.  She’s reaching for her feet and playing with her toes now too.

With all these progressions lately, it’s been freaking me out a little to get the living room completely settled.  Which of course as I said earlier…means money.  It’s stressful, but once we get one thing done, I feel better for a little bit.  It builds up quickly again, which leaves me climbing the walls until we can get another thing done.  I can only do so much with shuffling things around.  I’ve been trying to get rid of a lot of stuff, and if I can’t sell it then I’m definitely going to donate it soon just to get it out of the house.

I know that things are going to be crazy and messy and whatnot just because we have a kid, but I am determined to restore some semblance of order to this house for my own sanity.  I’ve come to find that even when things are busy, hectic and crazy…if there is the ability to have things organized, I feel better.  I need that organization.  And once we get it all finished, just little bits of maintenance when I can I think will do a lot to keep things in a manner that keeps me less stressed.  And believe me…that’ll mean a happier me for the hubs!  ❤

I do have to admit…the saying is kind of true… “A happy wife means a happy husband!”  But I’m not going to say it’s completely true…because he has to be happy as well for me to be happy.


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Wife, student, new first time mother. Crafter and creator. Animal enthusiast. I had a miscarriage in March 2011. But we tried again. March, 2012 was the birth of my first child. Off and on I have been dabbling with small business, trying to get it off the ground since, every so often changing direction.

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