Consistency (Old writing, <2yrs ago)


This is something I wrote a long time ago, that I came across.  I read over it, and it struck a chord with me.  This has been something that has been in the back of my brain, and surfaces enough to remind me regularly that I need to make a conscious effort to be the kind of person I want to be.  And I can say that I do like the person I am, and am glad to look back and see that I’ve done well by my own thoughts.

Consistency

by Mary over 2 years ago

Consistent.

I’ve tried very hard over time, when I made the point of working on myself as a person, to be me, and be consistent. Be consistent in my actions, my words, and in my ways.

I have many aspects of my personality, and for a long time now, they’ve been pretty constant. Anyone who knows me well enough can say that is true.

I admire people that can be constant and comfortable and honest in their dealings, and how they present themselves. And I try very hard to do the same thing all the time.

We have our downfalls, we have our bad days, and we all slip back a few steps from time to time. I understand that and am trying to understand it better when it comes to myself. I try not to be too mad at myself when I do fall back a little.

I wish there were more people out there that understood the concept of consistency in character, in actions, in words, in ideals. It’s getting harder and harder to turn my head away from those that don’t seem to have a grasp on the concept and aren’t more constant in their own actions.

It’s getting harder to enjoy the person for who they are when what they do constantly contradicts what they say. Whether it’s apparent to them, or something they don’t realize they are doing.

I don’t know whether to feel mad or sad over it. Mostly I think I just feel tired. More and more I’m feeling tired when I think about some things, rather than feeling upset in any major way by it. Maybe I’m finally growing up and learning what things really matter and what things really warrant my emotional energies.

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Mary

Wife, student, new first time mother. Crafter and creator. Animal enthusiast. I had a miscarriage in March 2011. But we tried again. March, 2012 was the birth of my first child. Off and on I have been dabbling with small business, trying to get it off the ground since, every so often changing direction.

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