It’s been a year since I gave birth to my first child.
The feelings surrounding this are varied, confusing, awesome, bitter sweet… It’s hard to believe it’s been a year already. It’s hard to believe that my baby, isn’t that little swaddled baby any more.
It started to really hit me when I was getting together the things I wanted to save of hers ready to go into storage bins for safe keeping. A lot of it is newborn, since she was in that size for so long. Some of her hand knit baby blankets are going in there, a few of her newborn toys.
I think think about my miscarriage from time to time, but it’s alright. I knew it wasn’t meant to be at that time, and quickly I had the ability to start over and try again, and It happened so quick, and now I’ve been through 9 months of pregnancy, and a whole first year of my child’s life.
It really is incredible to see the growth physically and emotionally and mentally in a baby. They come out so small and helpless…but already instilled with incredible survival instincts. And as they grow and become stronger and develop, their sense of individuality is amazing so early on.
I honestly thought I would end up waxing all sorts of poetic about this. And in my heart, I know it’s there, and I feel like I could wax poetic about it but it seems to be staying right there. I guess where it belongs. In my heart. The full spectrum of feelings and emotions and reactions I get from learning every new day with this child, is incredible. Nothing beats the kinds of smiles she manages to illicit from me in a fraction of a second, the smile that not only lights up my face, but causes invisible fireworks to explode from my eyes and fills my heart to overflowing.