Thankful for… Day 12 2013

November 12, 2013

I am thankful for being as aware as I am of how my body functions and not being too stubborn to go get checked out.  Having a child really kicked me in the ass regarding being more mindful of how I am feeling.  I need to be ok for my child.

I am thankful for the medical coverage James being in the Navy provides.  I’m thankful for a husband who quietly worries about me and is willing to be at my side to make sure I’m ok.

I’m thankful for my reproductive system to look ok after a rather painful and scary experience.  I’m thankful for blood, urine, ultrasound and CT scan results being clear.  I’m thankful for a completely random and high fever not being linked to anything bad or scary.

I’m thankful for waking up this morning after spending a day in the hospital feeling better than I did when I went in.

I’m thankful that nothing seems amiss health wise for me.

I really was getting a bit nervous considering the past couple weeks I’ve had.  It started with a massive hormonal imbalance that had me feeling like crap and feeling weepy for no reason.  I was impatient and annoyed, for no reason I could fathom.  There was nothing going on that was stressing me out, I wasn’t mad about anything, I wasn’t sad about anything, I wasn’t able to pinpoint anything other than a rather large shift in my hormones to be the culprit.

At that point I figured it was just another impending and completely off-schedule period.  Massive craps would come and go, much stronger and harsher than any “normal” period I’ve ever had, on or off of birth control.  But, no period.  My female friends and I are around each other enough that we do tend to cycle around the same time, and it was not happening this time around.  I waited.  And waited.

Still, no cycle.  More cramps, more mood swings, more crying for no apparent reason, feeling exhausted and lethargic.  This past Friday I finally decided to take a pregnancy test.  Came up negative.  I breathed a sigh of relief, but I started to have doubts all the same.  This seemed far too similar to the things I felt during my first miscarriage.  We decided to wait it out a bit longer to see what would happen.  The very next day, this past Saturday, while we were out at the Zoo, it came.  Boy did it.  Thankfully I was moderately prepared.

Of course a relief washed over me emotionally, but it seemed as if it kicked my hormones back on track.  Not fully, but quite a bit within a day.  By Sunday I was feeling a lot more like myself.  I spent the majority of the weekend in quite a bit of pain and we just camped out at home after the Zoo so I could get through it.  Monday (Veteran’s Day) I was feeling even better, and in the afternoon we brought Zoe outside to play in the yard for a bit while I had the energy to.  That went well, and I started noticing that the bleeding had gone from extremely heavy to rather light.  I had a passing thought that that was strange, but I figured my body had just effectively flushed itself and I shouldn’t complain.

By the time James started making dinner Monday evening, I was feeling quite optimistic and was even getting in some yoga stretching and some floor work to get my energy up and motivation flowing.  Dinner went well, we get Zoe cleaned up, bathed and put to bed and finish watching The Hobbit from the night before.  By the time we had finished watching it, I was shivering and starting to feel achy and feverish.  Go figure at that point I couldn’t remember where the thermometer was, or if it even still worked.  That reminds me, I need to go get a new one.  It was a bit chilly that evening, so we chalked it up initially to that, and I took some ibuprofen for the aches.

By yesterday morning, I felt like death warmed over.  I had had a passing thought which I voiced the evening before, that if indeed it turned into a fever, I would need to get looked at.  I had remembered from when I had my previous miscarriage, the doctors had warned about fever since it could mean that something was left behind and causing an infection and would have to be removed.

I called my friend to talk to her and get my thoughts straight about what I wanted to do about it, and found out there was a virus going around, and I was truly hoping that I had just managed to get whatever it was that was floating around and that it was just a crappy coincidence that I got it this weekend while the rest was going on.  Thankfully I have an amazing friend, she didn’t hesitate to take Zoe while I went to the doctor.  And I have an amazing husband who came home to take me to the doctor since I wasn’t sure I would be safe enough to drive with the lack of concentration and the dizzy spells I was having.

Unfortunately, that turned into about 8 hours in the ER.  Blood draw, urine sample, pelvic exam…which of course took them hour upon hour to actually get done.  IV fluids, IV Toradol and oral Tylenol.  It took most of the afternoon and into the evening for my temperature to get down where they wanted to see it, and by then I was feeling a bit more normal.  At that point, the doctor was coming in and asking pretty much the same questions over and over, and finally came out with a concern over the fever.  It was just a fever at this point.  There was (and is) no nausea, no vomiting, no diarrhea, no coughing, no sore throat, none of the things that would point to the flu or anything else that was floating around.  At this point he voices his concern that it may be connected to appendicitis.  As much as I really didn’t want to be there for another three freakin’ hours for yet another test, it seemed to really be something he was concerned about and he kept talking himself more and more into it.  So, CT scan it was.  I got to drink that fun stuff prior to.  I fell asleep for about an hour while James went to pick up our friend’s kid from the school bus.

They got me in to the CT scan about 20 minutes earlier than they originally said, which was fine by me.  But it still took more than a danged hour to get the final results.  Thankfully it was clear as well.  So it seems that all of it was just some really weird stuff all happening around the same time.  I’m thankful for that and that I am feeling better today than I have lately.  I’m still keeping an eye on myself in case anything kicks back up.    They can’t say for sure whether or not I had a miscarriage considering by the time I went in my body had nearly already flushed itself.   And considering the time frame, it certainly wouldn’t be nearly as painful or noticeable as my first (being at 10 weeks pregnant).  But I know my body, and I know the differences in how my body works at different times.  I think it was a blighted ovum if it indeed was a miscarriage.  My first miscarriage was a blighted ovum, meaning that the egg implanted, but there was no embryo developing.

It’s about a 50/50 chance one way or the other in my mind.  Even if it was a miscarriage, I’m not upset over it.  It’s not like the first time when we were trying to get pregnant.  (NO, we’re not trying.  Seriously.  Don’t even ask.  We’re not.  And we don’t plan to any time soon.)  But it is something I am filing away in my brain to reference later.  And I am definitely going to keep a very close eye on myself for a while to make sure this doesn’t start happening again.


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Wife, student, new first time mother. Crafter and creator. Animal enthusiast. I had a miscarriage in March 2011. But we tried again. March, 2012 was the birth of my first child. Off and on I have been dabbling with small business, trying to get it off the ground since, every so often changing direction.

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